Faith Through Trials

Below is the written version of a speech given by Sarah at the Roseville Ladies Day, March 14th 2009.  The only thing missing are her fabulous ad-libs, which made it even better!  Enjoy…

Good morning.  My name is Sarah Neubauer and I am glad to see so many of you in the audience that I know.  Growing up in this area has afforded me the opportunity to get to know many of you and call you friends.  I even attended this Roseville congregation as a teenager.  I met and three years later, married my husband Ron here in this building in August of 1995. 

I want to tell you the testimony of my struggles dealing with a disease called cancer.  It broke my heart, mind and spirit, but God has worked a miracle in my life to built it back up.  God still does perform miracles.  God will answer our prayers and does heal us of our diseases.  In Mark 11:24, Jesus says, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”  I prayed, like you did, believing that God was going to heal me and get me through.

As many of you know, I was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer last year and have been battling this disease for a good part of a year.  Stage 4 cancer, is not good.  This means that the cancer has had time to spread to other parts of my body and is therefore harder to treat and remove.  I am now in REMISSION and cancer free, thanks to all the prayers from family and friends in and around the U.S.  God has been so good to me. 

Looking back over my life the last few months, I see God has been preparing me for this battle my whole life.  My childhood through my adult life has been filled with many personal struggles just you have had in your lives.  My choices in these struggles, whether good or bad, have made me the person I am today. 

I lost my mother to cancer when I was 8 months old.  I was raised by different family members until at the age of two, my dad married my step-mom Cheryl, that you just heard speak.  I came from a ‘his, hers, and theirs’ family, where we were all step-siblings and children of step-parents.  I fought with my brothers and sisters and parents like many of you did growing up.    I fought hard for my grades in school.  I tried and failed to keep up academically with my older step siblings who made school look so easy.  I really fought hard to be taller than my mom but never achieved that either.  Haha.  I fought with my mom a lot as a teenager, trying to find my place in the family and in the world.  It seems like my life has been full of fighting, leading up to this latest and greatest battle of my life.  Would I have been ready for it had I grown up differently?  What I considered a hard childhood, has probably saved my life.

This battle of mine started out a bad year for my family.   My husband Ron lost his job just days before I found a lump in my breast.  As weeks and months passed, my husband took classes to get a better job and I found my pain increasing and spreading to my other breast.  I waited for Ron to get a job so I could go to the doctor and get the lump checked out.  I finally went to the doctor when I couldn’t stand the pain anymore.  The Lord’s hand was especially with me that sunny June day when I took myself to a nearby clinic.  I was seen by a doctor who after examining me for about 10 seconds, looked directing into my eyes and said, “don’t go home, don’t to the store, don’t go anywhere but directly to the ER!”  I was admitted to the hospital almost immediately that day.  A whirlwind of actions by dedicated doctors and nurses started me on my journey through battling and defeating my breast cancer.

A surgery for my port took place within days of my ER visit.  I started chemotherapy a week later and continued chemotherapy every 3 weeks for seven months.  God worked on my body, heart and spirit and made me stronger than I have ever been during those tough months.  I persevered somehow through the chemo, though not very gracefully at times.  My cancer was put in Remission in January of this year and my life was given a reprieve from medical procedures for 1 month.  I was then seen by a surgeon, and 5 days later, had major surgery.  I am currently recovering from my breast surgery and enjoying my kids and life with a whole new perspective. 

Life can get crazy sometimes and it’s hard to see the big picture that God sees for us.  I was a frightened young woman not used to standing up for myself last June.  I thought seeing a little blood was enough to make me pass out.  Now, God has given me the courage to fight for my life.  To fight for what I want to live for.  I grew mentally and spiritually through these hard months.  When I thought I couldn’t go on, and that I was too sick to get through another day, a family member or friend would pick me up.  They often read me a Note of Encouragement from my website.  I know these ‘notes’ gave me the strength and the courage to fight and to keep fighting.  I have felt strength through the prayers you’ve prayed for me and my family.  I have never before felt so loved, and it has touched my heart deeply.  My church family has truly taken care of me and my family so that I could focus on getting better and living again.  I taped each get well card I received onto a wall in my front room and called it my wall of encouragement. I loved looking at them because they gave me strength.  My family has been fed and taken care of by many of you, when I was so sick and couldn’t get up off the couch.  I thank each of you from the bottom of my heart.  Our great and powerful God and my church family, has saved my life.

My doctors believe that the chemo is what took my cancer away. I truly believe that God healed me.  My stubbornness is a God given trait.  It got me through teenage life, fighting for what I wanted in life, and it has gotten me through this disease.  I wanted so bad to be able to read a story to my kids again, to walk my kids to school, to cook our families favorite meals.  The normal, everyday things that I took for granted because I didn’t have the strength for anymore.  I hated watching my kids see their mom reduced to such vulnerablility.  I will admit to pitying myself quite often, and saying ‘I don’t think I can do this anymore.’ But God gave me a best friend who would ask me to just take a deep breath, to just get through one more day. I had to endure, to persevere through this trial like the Bible says in James 1.  God says in Matthew to not worry about tomorrow because today has enough trials of its own.    God loves each one of us so much and has promised to be right there beside us during trials and joyous times.  He definitely walked through this with me.

Thank you also for walking through this trial with me; for being such a great support group to me and my family.  I have been given a second chance at life, and with God by my side, I hope to make each and every day count.

Thank You.